Breaking the Supermom Spell: Steering the Realities of Motherhood

With motherhood comes a lot of responsibilities, with the obvious feeling of doing all to make sure that every single thing is done appropriately and timely. Moms are great at multitasking and juggle a lot of balls in the air daily from taking care of their children to managing their career and home. Indeed, all moms are supermoms. This could be awesome, but some moms take it to the next step. This is from where the supermom syndrome begins but not all mothers recognise its signs.

The Supermom is described as a woman who easily manages a flourishing career, maintains a flawless home, cooks nutritious meals from scratch, engages kids in various activities while refusing to take any help. Even if she is tired, she disagrees with giving up as she thinks if she doesn’t do that job, she’ll not fulfill her duty as a mother or if someone else will do it, he or she will not do it correctly.

This model is perpetuated by societal expectations. In addition, the rise of social media, every so often sets impractical standards for mothers from perfectly planned dinners, over the top birthday parties and flawless mom styling. We all are busy pinning, facebooking, instagramming, and tweeting to show this could be done easily. Meanwhile, we have piles of laundry and dishes to wash, forgotten baths and unchecked to do list.

It applies to all moms irrespective whether they are working or stay-at-home moms. Stay-at-home moms feel that as they don’t contribute money-wise to home, so they must do all the household work along with raising their kids. On the other hand, as the working mom is away all day, she feels that it is her responsibility to take care of her kids after work, from playtime to nighttime routines.

All moms have some of the signs of supermom syndrome once in a while, but some moms have persistent emotions whose intensity doesn’t decline with time.

ABCDEFs of Depression:

According to the publication of Demartini Institute, these are ABCDEFs of depression related to supermom syndrome.

Anger: A supermom feels annoyed towards those who don’t heartily join to help her with errands or not just being productive overall. As a result, anger begins to build up.

Blame: When work is done but not in a way a supermom would have done, she will blame that person for doing it as he or she has caused more work according to her.

Criticism: A supermom doesn’t like criticism at all even if it is constructive. She feels attacked when she is not able to accomplish any task. And when people try to help her, she feels that she will be judged as she couldn’t accomplish the task on her own.

Depression: When day-to-day goals are not met, supermoms feel depressed.

Exhaustion: Carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders on a daily basis, supermoms are overwhelmed with exhaustion as they don’t find time for themselves.

Frustration: A supermom feels frustrated because of several reasons including not getting everything done, watching others being non-productive and the list can go on.

How To Treat Supermom Syndrome?

Firstly, supermoms need to understand that no mother can do it all as we live different lives with different energy and patience levels. Its just her delusion that she is proficient in doing everything for all the people in her life all the time while effortlessly managing herself.

I am sharing some tips that a supermom can follow to save herself from the burn out.

Realistic Expectations: Accept that perfection is an unachievable goal. Set realistic expectations for yourself and know that it's okay to ask for help.

Prioritise Self-Care: Know the significance of self-care. If you take time for yourself, it doesn’t mean that you are self-centred. Self-care is a vital component of maintaining mental and emotional resilience.

Delegate and Seek Support: Delegate everyday tasks and share responsibilities with your family members, or friends. Seeking support is a sign of your strength, not weakness.

Embrace Imperfections: Embrace the imperfections and randomness of parenthood. It's acceptable if the house is not seamlessly organised or if dinner comes from a takeout box seldom.

Quality Over Quantity: A mother should emphasis on the quality of time spent with her children rather than the quantity. Meaningful influences and instants have a more lasting impact than a perfectly accomplished daily routine.

Conclusion:

The supermom syndrome is a spectacle that affects many mothers but it is essential to recognise these unrealistic expectations. Embracing imperfections, prioritising self-care and seeking support are critical in navigating the delicate balance of motherhood. To be a good mom, you don’t need to achieve an unattainable standard of perfection. Your superpower lies in acknowledging your limitations and finding joy in the journey of parenthood. Otherwise, your cell phone will end up in the refrigerator, your car keys in the dresser drawer and you will be losing your nerve the last moment for getting late when you can’t find anything.